meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You did what with his pubic hair?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
