We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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