Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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