There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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