I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
