WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
