just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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