we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His hands were made for my vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
