She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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