you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
