this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize