New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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