I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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