So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
