maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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