it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize