if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
