69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am naked and annoyed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
