We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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