i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
