Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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