I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
