Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
