Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
