honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
