So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
