Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
