Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
