Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
