Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
