great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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