im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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