Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize