Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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