Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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