what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
