Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
