We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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