I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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