hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
