Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
