I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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