It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Panties = found
I did not marry a roomba.
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