Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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