you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
