There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
