CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Are my feet made of real feet?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
