Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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