He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
