why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
