I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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