yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
