it wasn't lemon gatorade
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
