She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
