So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize