you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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