just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We left the knife in your bed.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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