I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
