Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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