dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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