I'm jealous of your bromance
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would fuck him just for his dog
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize