I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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