it's like iHOP with fire
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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