Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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