Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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