She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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