You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize